Maybe Everything Happens For A Reason



I have come to terms that you might be leaving. I also have accepted the fact that people can drift a part to opposite sides of thinking , even after expressing emotions, thoughts, that sounded like and tasted and felt completely real. I have now understood what it means when they say "If you truly love someone, you have to let them go." I guess letting go is part of the process, that sometimes we give our hearts to people and end up empty. And you have to support and watch that person from a far as you still wish them success and happiness. And at the same time, you have to move on. And somehow, in the end, we're going to be okay....eventually whilst we still find our footing. We still learn, and accept both the lesson that we did not realize we needed to, and the blessings that comes in finding our way out.

" Be patient. Sometimes you have to go through the worst to get the best"
And so, I may cry. Who am I kidding. I will cry.

But, I'm going to have to choose to smile after that. Even after losing you. Because I know that one person cannot define my happiness. And as much as I want to harbor bitterness in my chest. It will only hold me back. Back to the dark.

So I want to be free.

I will accept that everything does happen for a reason, even losing you. 
I will come to terms that closed doors will eventually lead to open ones. That pain creates purpose. That falling down gives me the strength. As I will learn to rise again. That the moment where I feel the most broken will show me the power in myself, in my faith that I did not know I had until I reached that lowest point. 

"The Pain is a product of the world we live in, not our God. And so, to believe that everything happens for a reason is not to say that God is not in control, but to trust that no matter what awful things we experience, He will not leave us to fight through the pain alone."

And when I think about you and I, I hope I will accept where we are, how we've fallen apart. I've chosen to let you go because I know I cannot change what has happened or the way you feel, and honestly, I don't want to. 

Because you've taught me what is LOVE. You showed me that love can exists between two strangers. And you also taught me to love myself, no matter how broken another person can make me feel. You've taught me to reach out for my dreams, even though one of them was with you. You taught me to show up for myself, and battle, and I believe that I am worthy of the love I give to others.

Thank you for that. 

And no, your leaving will not be catastrophic. But maybe it was a beautiful dream that I have to wake up from. 

Maybe if I choose to believe that everything is guiding me, shaping me, bring me closer to who I am and what I deserve, I can let go of you freely.
And i can truly free myself. 


Fatin

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